We Have Been Approved!

Today started out at the doctor's office fo me. I woke up with the room spinning several times, through out the night. I was really scared! But, it turns out, I have a sinus infection and a virus, accompanied by a fun dose of vertigo! So I had to take the day off and while I was lying on the sofa, I got a call from Children's Services. I was half out of it, but she said that she commpleted our homestudy paperwork on the 19th and she turned it into her supervisor. She said that I sounded confused! I was more surprised! I was really starting to think we would never get this call! She said that we will be assigned a new social worker and we will hear from her within the week...then WE GET PUT ON THE LIST OF FOSTER TO ADOPT PARENTS!!!! I cannot wait! Tears of joy just streamed down my face as soon as I hung up and called my husband to give him the big news! He thought something was wrong with me! LOL! I am just so happy! Last week, I was growing so impatient. It felt like it was never going to happen for us! This is the best Christmas gift ever!

The Home Study is Complete!

We have completed all of the requirements! We have attended TONS of classes, had many appointments, got fingerprinted, had physicals, psych evaluations, background checks, wrote biographies and have finally finished the nursery! Now, we just wait for our caseworker to compile all of the information and to finally become certified! THEN.......we get to wait for the BIG call!Tomorrow, I will take some photos of the nursery and will post them :) We were told the paperwork should be done in December! Maybe we will have a baby in our home for the new year! Who knows!

Only Two Homestudy Visits Left!

I have not updated lately because I started a new job and have not been feeling very well. Thankfully I am feeling much better and have a ton to fill you in on! We have had 3 appointments since you last heard from me! Both my husband and I had our individual biography appointments, we had an appointment together at Children's Services on Friday, and we had our psychological examinations yesterday! Our social worker said we only have 2 appointments left: 1 more at Children's Services and the final one at our house! Then we can start waiting for the big call to get our baby!
In the mean time, we have been working on the nursery! I made the bedding and we both have been refinishing the furniture.  We even made a trip to Ikea with some friends who are also going through the adoption process!  We are also using some of our wedding decorations in the nursery! I do not have any final photos but you can see our progress:

Last night, we had our fire inspection. I was so worried there would be some hidden danger zone in our seemingly safe house that would instantly fail us! THANKFULLY there were none. We passed! Easy peasy! Flying along.....
Today we checked a few more items off the old check list! I went in for my physical with the doctor and both Dear Hubby and I went in for fingerprinting. His, of course went fast and easy. Mine, however was a royal pain in the you-know-where! I do not have good prints. Every year, when I volunteer for camp, I have to get fingerprinted and every year it is a chore. My prints just don't work. It does not help me that everything is digital because those machines hate when they see these fingers coming! So I went to Children's Services for my prints and this poor woman! She tried so hard! We just could not get 3 good finger prints. So, she sent me to the sheriff's department, with the warning that they hate CS's there. That was an understatement. As soon as the woman heard the words Children's Services, she went on a rant about how they never do anything right there and she is going to tell them that they will not do prints for them anymore. Whew! Well, I told her that I would like to adopt, however they were unable to get viable prints. She said "well, what makes you think I will? I probably won't either." I said "I understand that you have a ton of frustration with them, but please understand that I am just trying to get through this process, so that we can bring a baby home". She softened up and apologised. She got 3 decent prints from me, after a ton of tries, but she did not want to give up! There was a bunch of stuff I skipped. Well, this costs money, of course, but she said she would try to see if she could even get good prints before she sent me to the atm, next door. Since she did, I ventured over to the atm and I tried every. single. debit. card. in . my. purse. Seriously. That machine had to have been out of money. It just spit out a receipt with an error code on it, with every card I tried. Yes, I have a ton of cards. Finally, I called my super-hero-husband, to rescue me and to please bring me some cash! I was supposed to be at work at this, point, and while I know they don't care, I still have to make up all of this time!
Oh yeah! I got a new job! I forgot to say that! I start on Monday the 15th! I currently have an hour and a half commute and this new job will give me 2 hours of my day back! Wahooooooooooooo! So, while I am still here, they don't care what I work, as long as I get my 40 hours in, so I am taking advantage! Tomorrow I am going in late, so I can go to the social security office, so I can FINALLY change my name! That only took 5 weeks! (Whoops!)

Our first home study appointment on Friday was a success! We gave her all of the paperwork we had completed, thus far, including the infamous autobiographies! We showed her around the house and she tested the water temperature, which was not to go above 120*F, which is considered scalding. We passed with a whopping 110*F, so she told us what we are to do next. We were given the go-ahead to have a fire inspection, which is actually scheduled for this evening. We are to have a crib assembled,  baby gates, fire extinguishers, etc. Over the weekend, we sanded down the crib, in preparation of painting it white, purchased a mattress, baby proofing gear, 2 baby gates, paint and a paint gun to paint the crib and the dresser. I am very excited for the nursery! The one bad thing is that the social worker told us that the baby's room needs to be on the same floor as ours, up to a certain age, which she was not sure of which age. I told her the baby could sleep in the alcove up in our room, which is legal, up until the baby is one. I hope that they can sleep downstairs after that, or else I do not know what we will do. Well, HOPEFULLY we won't have to worry about it, as we will hopefully have custody by then! I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow, along with Eli and I will both get fingerprinted. We are moving right along! Oh! And my appointment with the social worker to go over my autobiography is on Friday and Eli's is next Thursday! I feel like this is moving right along! I am super excited to get this part of the process done and over with!

The first appointment with the social worker.

Our first appointment with our social worker was...disappointing. We were led to a very institutionalized looking room. Small, with metal furniture. Even the tissue box was metal and was bolted to the desk. She started out asking us what we were looking for. We said we would like to adopt a baby, as young as possible, but no older than 2, no sibling groups and I have always wanted a girl, but we are open to either sex. She said that this may not be the best fit for us. That they are there for the children, not for us and if we are looking for an infant, an agency or an attorney may be a better fit for us. She then continued on to go over the process of the home study process. Once she was done, she asked us if we had any questions and I said I did. I had made a list of questions to make sure to ask, although she had already answered a number of them, but first, I wanted to say that her initial statement to us was so disheartening. We have known families who have found what they were looking for through Children's Services and for her to say it is not the right avenue was kind of off putting. Not to mention that the woman we have been working with up until this point with her, has been very encouraging and assured us that this was a good fit. She softened up and said that she didn't mean to be that way and that it just takes a few placements before you find your forever baby. Basically that we have to be prepared to foster and give the baby back too. I asked some more questions and we scheduled our first at-home visit for our home visit.
My husband and I walked out of the building feeling pretty bummed out. We stopped and talked it out for a bit before departing. We decided that we are prepared to foster a couple of babies if we need to, if it means finding our baby.
But I can't help but keep going back to what she originally said....So I am looking into other avenues. I am aware of Children's Services' purpose, but I can't shake this feeling that she may be right. I hope she isn't. I really felt like we were on the right path until she came along.

This is an Exciting Week!

The day after we got the call that we were matched with a social worker, and she would be calling, was suuuuuuch a looooooooong day! I thought for sure she would have called that day! But she didn't and my poor adoption buddy had to hear about my disappointment all day! (She is such a trooper!) At the end of the day, when my son got home from school, in hopes of the application's arrival, I had my son check the mail. After 2 and a half weeks and 4 promises, we finally got it! I was so excited to spend our Friday night filling it out! When I got home, I saw that we also got a smaller envelope from Children's Services and guess what! Our social worker sent us a letter, rather than calling! Who knew people still use snail mail for appointment setting!?!? LOL! We have our first appointment with her on Wednesday at 4:00! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super excited!
We then spent our weekend in adoption classes, which I enjoy, purely because it brings us closer to adoption. There is always so much negativity, so to counter balance it, I brought in a nice poem (I came across it in an adoption group, I did not write it) for everyone to take home and leave on a brighter note.

Isn't it nice? Our last class is on Saturday!!!!!! We are moving right along! Also, I decided to make the baby's bedding, rather than purchase it because, well, IDK! I just thought it would be fin and cost effective! Here are my inspirations I found tutorials for:

This is the skirt

 

For the sheet

I am buying the rest of the materials this evening! I hope it will come out as nice as these! I am a beginner, ya know!

Another Step Forward

We are one step closer to this!

I am doing a happy dance! I just got the call from Children's Services that we have been matched with a social worker! She said that she will send us a packet and we should be on our way to our home study!I am so happy with how quickly things are moving! Just when I kind of felt like we were being brushed under the rug, I got the call! I cannot wait to go forward with the next steps! Now I am stalking my phone, waiting for our new social worker to call.....

First Purchase For Future Baby!

We are still taking our classes and the instructor on Sunday told us to start purchasing some books about adoption, both for us and our perspective child, so we did and this was the first to arrive!

I cannot wait to read it to him or her! Have you read it? I read it several times to my old daycare class, but never once thought of it in an adoption light! We have 2 more coming and one for me to read!

Checking In!

We have completed a full weekend of classes! We went Friday for 3 hours and Saturday and Sunday for 6 hours each! We are well on our way! Our next class is on Wednesday. The classes are....well scary! One horror story after another. I will make it a goal, to have a fairytale ending to our adoption story! I am not jaded yet!

Today, I told my supervisor at work that we are adopting. I had to tell him for 2 reasons: 1) I have to change my work schedule on Wednesday, in order to make the class and 2) because I had to put him down, along with his direct telephone line, on the application. He was very supportive and we actually had a lengthy conversation about his experience with fertility with his wife and adoption in general.

My mind keeps racing! I plan to call my son's pediatrician and dentist today, so I can see if they take medicaid, in order to have these lined up for a new baby!

The instructor for our class suggested some adoption books to purchase for our future baby. She said we should start buying them now! I wonder what else we should be buying. One of the books is by Jamie Lee Curtis. It was so cute! I had no idea that she had adopted! She has written several childrens' books on the topic! I can't wait to check them out!

I have also been gathering photographs for a book we will have to make for the homestudy about our family. There are so many to choose from and different angles to take the book. I feel overwhelmed with it!

I wonder when we can start thinking about names.....

We applied!

First thing this morning, I called the other agency to inquire on the classes. The cut off for sign up was August 31st, but he made an exception and we are in!!! We start classes on Friday from 9-6, then Saturday from 9 am to 3:30 and the same thing on Sunday! This will continue through the end of the month, but it is by far better than dragging the classes through November! We are so thankful!
So I called the agency we are working with and asked if we should bring in our application, since we would not be seeing her Saturday. She said yes, so we did!!! EEK! She told us she would assign us a social worker now, rather than wait, so we can get the process moving along! This is such exciting news!
After leaving, we headed to the mall for lunch and decided to look at cribs and baby things, you know, to get an idea of what they cost these days (and because it is FUN!) We also looked at bedding and other things we would possibly need. What do you think?

I love that it has birds on it and is in our wedding colors, so I can use our decorations in the nursery!
I cannot wait to update you all after our classes begin!

Byrd Got Married

Byrd got married!

We were married on Saturday and it was even better than I envisioned! We were married under a pergola that my husband built when we took the pool down from our backyard. The reception was under a tent and we made everything but the food! I am sure I will post photos, but for now, we only have some non-pro's and a few previews from our photographer.

The next morning, we invited my new in-laws to breakfast, who drove in from out of state, so our time with them was limited, although we did have an agenda. We wanted to make the announcement to them that we are starting the adoption process on Saturday by turning in our application and attending our first of many required classes. We handed the patriarch of the family,my father-in-law, the wrapped onesy that I made, intended to break the ice. He opened it and looked at it, puzzled. He read it outloud and then I announced that we are beginning our new adventure. Everyone was so happy for us! They were congratulating us and asking questions and I finally felt at ease. I was so nervous, that I forgot to take pictures! I was so disappointed, so we asked them to take a photo with the gift, so we can have it for a keepsake. I then made sure my sister would bring her fancy camera to our family get together.

We did not announce to my family until Monday evening. Everyone went to my grandparents' hotel dining room. I gave the bag to my grandparents to open. They pulled it out and were just giggling and giggling! They read it aloud and then I announced that we are starting the adoption process on Saturday and everyone was ecstatic! They were all congratulating us and it was so wonderful! I was so scared of being met with negativity that it never even occurred to me that both of our families would be happy and supportive of our decision.
Tonight, we filled out the application! It was so exciting!!!! While we were, I realized that we have an option to start our classes on Friday, instead and that they could all be done by the end of the month! It will monopolize most of the weekends for the month, but It is better than dragging it out until November, right???? I am going to call in the morning to see if we can get into those classes, instead! I hope so!!!! We are very eager to get the process started! I will keep you posted!

To me, adoption is the logical and only choice. I want to give to a child, what my grandparents did for us, and, for my mother and my aunt. I want to give my love to a child who may not get any, if not for us. I shudder to think of where my life would be, had my grandparents not adopted my mother. Assume that my mother’s adult life would go exactly as it did, without being adopted by the most amazing people I have ever known. Let us assume that she would meet my father, get addicted to drugs and alcohol, and give birth to myself, my brother, and my sister.  What would have happened when she hit rock bottom, which she did, but did not have my grandparents, who adopted her, as an infant, to support her, to take her three children into their Ohio home, fly them in from California, so that my mother could go to rehab and fix her life. Would she have even gone to rehab? Would my life have gotten even WORSE than it already was, at 7 years old? Would she have stayed with my abusive father? I honestly doubt she would have the resources available to her, in order to make such a huge step, in her road to recovery.

Believe me, when I say I do not have any rose colored glasses on, beginning this journey into adoption. I know it is a long a difficult process to go through, and once it is over, and the child is ours, there is a lifetime of struggle ahead of us, in order to make this child feel like a part of our family. To feel as loved as my biological son feels. To help them feel like they belong and that we love them already, even now, not knowing who they are or how we will get to bring them into our lives, home and family.

In 24 days, I am going to marry the man of my dreams. The decision to adopt was a lot different for him. I brought the idea to him. I plead my case and I let him stew over it for a couple of months. This is how he works. He is not a ‘fly by the seat of his pants’ type of guy. He stews. He takes F.O.R.E.V.E.R sometimes. He researches a topic to death, but when he decides, he is in. He will have a 13 year old step son soon and adopting means he will not have any biological children. This was a hard pill to swallow for him.

 On the fourth of July, we were working in the yard, since my son was with his paternal grandfather for a few hours, and I overheard my neighbors who work for Children’s Services, discussing the terrible circumstances some of the children have to live with. I wanted to hop that fence and yell “we’ll take them! We’ll take them all!” But I held back. I asked my fiancé if he had thought anymore about the adoption idea. He said he had. He said “I think it sounds like something I would be in to”. That’s a yes! I was making calls the next day! Of course we discussed what type of adoptions we would like to do and all of that, also.

A couple of weeks later, on July 17^th, we participated in a webinar for an adoption agency that a friend had recommended. We learned about adoption from other countries, domestic adoption and state waiting adoption. I knew this was not the route for us. We are more the foster-to-adopt people. So I texted my neighbors who work for CS’s and asked for some information. They don’t work in that department, but were SUPER supportive and stated that if they could; they would adopt in a minute, and gave me the name of the person to call, whom I called the very next day. We are all signed up for the classes that start exactly ONE WEEK after our wedding! We are so excited to start the most exhilarating journey of our lives! The long winding road to adoption.

We are planning to tell our families about our intention to adopt before they leave town after the wedding. He wanted to wait until we are done with the classes and the home study, but then we wouldn’t be able to tell them in person. On a forum I frequent about adoption, I came across the most adorable shirt that says “Superman was adopted too”. I bought some white onsies and will print on to an iron on transfer our version of the design (the superman emblem with the saying in a comic book text). I plan to wrap them up and give them to various family members and hope they ‘get it’.  We will answer all of their questions and fend off their doubt and negativity. We will hopefully get them as enthusiastic as we are.

Now, we wait. We stay busy with wedding plans and will fill out our application in the week between the wedding and the first class. Since we are not married yet, we were told to wait to apply and bring it with us. I called today to confirm that we were both signed up for the class and that we are still to wait on filling out the application. Thank goodness I did! I was the only one signed up! My future husband is now on the class roster and I am so incredibly eager to get this going!